"When we think of time, we tend to think of clock radios, coffee breaks, afternoon naps, leisure time, halftime activities, parole time, doing time, Minute Rice, instant tea, mid-life crises, that time of the month, cocktail hour.
And if I should suddenly mention space -- aha!
I bet most of you thought of your closets!"
~Trudy from
The Search For Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
by Jane Wagner
A few months ago I woke on a Sunday morning and started getting ready for church. I got dressed, put on my face and got my kids out of bed. I set out their things helped the baby into a dress and my preschooler into his shirt and tie. We were fed and racing out the door by 15 after and I was so excited that we were actually going to make the 35 minute drive with time to spare! I might even make the early morning meeting if I hurried.
That was when I looked at the clock in the car and I was filled with complete confusion. It was 9:15, not 8:15? How could this be?
I had set my alarm clock the night before with complete confidence that if we got up at eight o'clock, we would have an hour to get ready and get out the door by eight fifteen! (No, this isn't a typo, stay with me!)
How had this happened? What time was it? I spent the whole drive trying to figure this out in my head and my brain couldn't piece together what had just happened.
Sure enough, the first hour of church meetings were almost over when we arrived on the scene! I still couldn't understand. Then, slowly, logic started to compute and time and space seemed to come together. Of course I couldn't wake up with just fifteen minutes until I needed to go and think I had an hour! Why did my brain not understand that! But still, my brain wouldn't let go of that knowledge that I had been right! My brain seemed to have been having an argument. I know, logically that that was not possible but my brain kept saying that the time frame was right.
This scared me. I knew I was wrong, but my brain couldn't accept it. It was as if I had two brains in my head. One was right, normal, healthy. The other was not supposed to even be there. It was sick, it was hard to control. It wasn't mine. It had holes in it.
I have a picture of that brain. An MRI. It does have holes in it. Little black spots that are the scars of the MS. Are they the reason for the miss function? I don't even know.
MS is hard because it could be MS, or I could have just sat on my leg wrong and it's just gone numb. Am I dizzy because I haven't had lunch yet and am I hypoglycemic? Or is it the MS and I'm starting to have a bat of vertigo? Sometimes it's easy to make a small thing into a big deal. But it's just as easy to overlook the danger signs and write them off as nothing.
I do that a lot. I would rather it not be a big deal than have everyone worried about me. So it's just a fluke.
Last week was Homecoming. My daughter, a 4th grader, got to participate in a cheer camp that the squad puts on during Homecoming week. Kids 3 and up can go and learn a routine to perform during halftime at the big game. It's so much fun! It raises money for the cheerleaders and lots of little girls get to learn what it would be like to join the squad thus promoting the team as well.
The kids participate at the pep rally, then ride the cheer float in the parade, and finally, that night, they cheer at the game. I went to the rally. After that I couldn't find a clock and was worried we would miss the parade. I walked to main street and waited. No one was there. I turned on my phone. The school called and told me my 4th grader was waiting to be picked up? OH MY GOSH! They were calling to let me know that they took her to the parade float and she was fine. I never realized that there was an hour between the end of school and the time for the parade. We, my three other kids and I, walked back to school, checked on the one daughter, and then walked back to main, just in time for the parade to start.
It had happened again! My brain had not been able to calculate time and space! Plus, I got the #1 Parent Fail Award! Then while standing on the street watching the parade, some lady came up to me to tell me I had forgotten my daughter at school!
Thanks for that! How do I know you?
