I Wear Orange for ME! ~ Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month

I have MS. Multiple Sclerosis. 

multiple sclerosisnouna chronic, typically progressive disease involvingdamage to the sheaths of nerve cells in the brainand spinal cord, whose symptoms may includenumbness, impairment of speech and of muscularcoordination, blurred vision, and severe fatigue.

I was diagnosed in 1998. That's 15 years. I started showing simptoms in 1995. That's 18 years. My neurologist says 18 years. 

I'm fine. I'm healthy. I've done a lot of wonderful things. I'm very lucky. I'm very blessed. 

March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness month. So I'm going to make you aware. 

Your welcome. 

photo credit: @we_have_ms on Instagram

I've tried to tell people how tired I am. It's always met with how tired they are, too. Sometimes I feel like it's unfare. That they aren't listening. I guess they aren't. Sometimes I feel like they don't care. Maybe, but I think they just don't know. They don't understand. 

True strength is holding it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart. 

Sometimes I do fall apart. My family has seen it. But they seem to love me anyway. Sometimes I just need to go to bed. My husband is wonderful at holding back the kids so I can nap. It's not too often that I need a nap, but when I do, it feels like I'm crashing. I actually fell asleep in one of the meetings at church last Sunday. That's never happened before. I was sent to bed.

There are four types of MS, with the first type being the most common:

• Relapsing-Remitting MS
  People with this type of MS experience clearly defined attacks of worsening neurologic function. These attacks, which are called relapses or flare-ups, are followed by partial or complete recovery periods (remissions). Approximately 85% of people are initially diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS.
• Secondary-Progressive MS
  Following an initial period of relapsing-remitting MS, many people develop a secondary-progressive disease course in which the disease worsens more steadily, with or without occasional flare-ups, minor recoveries (remissions), or plateaus. Approximately 50% of people with relapsing-remitting MS develop secondary-progressive MS within 10 years.
• Primary-Progressive MS
  With this type of MS, neurologic function slowly worsens. There are no distinct relapses or remissions. Approximately 10% of people are diagnosed with primary-progressive MS.
• Progressive-Relapsing MS
  In this relatively rare course of MS, people experience steadily worsening disease from the beginning, but with clear attacks of worsening neurologic function along the way. They may or may not experience some recovery following these relapses, but the disease continues to progress without remissions. Approximately 5% of people are diagnosed with progressive-relapsing MS.

 I have Relapsing-Remitting MS. Like I said, I've had it for 18 years. Blessed. That's all I can say.


I usually walk in the MS walk in our area. Last year my kids, my husband and I walked as a team. But this year, the walk is scheduled for the week we have our volunteers out to help us open. Yes, it's that time of year again! We need to be here, helping with the work. I am disappointed. But I don't have to walk to earn pledges! I'm signed up as a virtual walker. So please, make a donation. HERE!

I also wanted to share this great company:

Yes, again with the Instagram! I know, I know! These guys have opened a shop selling men's leather jackets and with each purchase they donate to The Brass Family Foundation for MS! How cool is that!
Plus, during the month of March, they have doubled the amount they will donate per jacked. So act now!

Go to their website (www. atomwillis.com) and get yourselves, your spouse, your roommate, your boyfriend, whatever, a jacket. It's cold outside!

You can also find them on instagram: @atomwillis They have really cool picts.

Don't just sit there! Join the Movement!
Thank you.

The Internet is A Small World After All

I started using Instagram a year ago. My first picture was of my cat or maybe it was the dog. As you know, I have just reached and am quickly passing 1000 photos posted to instagram. Some of the pictures I have taken have been in regards to me having MS. I have used hash tags such as:

•   #multiplesclerosis
•   #ms
•   #mswarrior  
•   #beatms
•   #mswillnotdestroyme 

And so on. Through these tags I have met many other warriors like myself and I have seen them struggle and have also been lifted up with what they have posted. 
A few days ago I posted this picture:

I used it for my photo-a-day shot for the word "favorite" because I love yogi tea and usually have at least one cup a day. But I also tagged it with all those MS tags, 

because this sentiment is really how I feel about my own health. 

A few days after that, one of the women who follows me on Instagram, who has MS, and I follow her back, posted this same picture. That's not uncommon in the world of IG. It is, however, good form to give the original photographer credit. Which she didn't. I wasn't too hurt by this, it's not a very good picture… but I wanted to see what happened, so I simply commented on the shot, 

saying that I recognized it. 

She responded that Pinterest was great. 

Wait! She got it off of Pinterest!? 

Yep.

So in just a few days, someone who I've never met, but who follows me on Instagram and I followed her back, found one of my pictures on Pinterest, that I didn't post on Pinterest, 

and posted it to her IG feed! 

Do you follow? 

I'm not sure I do! 

Personally, and this is what I told her, 

if this simple message on a teabag has touched someone enough to repost it elsewhere, 

then that is what it was meant to do. 

And I hope it may lift others up as well. 

But isn't it crazy how this is such a wonderfully small world! 

My Mitochondria ~ The Wahls Diet Follow Up

Awhile back I mentioned I was on a new diet. Only I call it a "program" with the intent of not drawing too much negative attention to body image (I am the mother of girls, after all). The purpose of this particular "program" was to see if the foods I eat can really affect my MS. I was diagnosed with Relapsing-Remiting Multiple Sclerosis in January of 1998 but I had suffered from symptoms as early as 1995 and I had an extreme lose of energy in 1993.

All information in this post is from this book. Get it. Read it.
It just might change your life!

This past summer season here at the ranch, we had an employee who also has MS and she had so much energy and was in such good health, I wanted to know her secret. (Granted, she didn't have 4 kids one of which still only sleeps in two hour spurts, and 2 more of whom still wake up with bad dreams and what not!) Because she was a seasonal employee, she doesn't have health insurance and thus doesn't take medications. She was however on a very strict diet. She lent me her book.

The concept of the Wahls diet is that our diets are seriously lacking in micronutrients and therefor our mitochondria, our brain cells, are starving. Once our cells become so malnutrition they can't fight off the toxins they naturally produce, they will in fact die. Our country, the USA, is suffering from massive chronic diseases that are infecting younger and younger generations. Eating more fruits and vegetables helps nearly every chronic disease, including heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure. Why wouldn't it help neurological disorders too?

Dr. Wahls underwent several changes in the start of her pursuit to treat her MS. Oh yea, did I mention that this is a Doctor who has MS herself, and all traditional medical treatments weren't offering her any help. In fact, her MS progressed from Relapsing-Remiting to Progressive MS in just a matter of years. Further more, the majority of relapsing-remitting MS patients will convert to secondary progressive MS within 25 years. 80% of them in the first 15 years. Like I said, I've had it for 17+ years!

Dr. Wahls quotes Hippocrates, an ancient Greek physician, who said, "Let good, wholesome food be thy medicine." And so this is what I am attempting to do. I am still on my medication (Don't worry, Dad!). I give myself a shot every night. Although I do forget to do it, a lot… My physician sees the good of vitamins and prescribes 5000 IU of vitamin D but the body will absorb and use the vitamins  and minerals so much more efficiently if they are consumed naturally. Like through food.

My breakfast: veggie stir fry with ham and hemp seeds,
fresh tomato, with spinach and kale shake made with
coconut milk, cocoa, and cinnamon

Dr. Wahls recommends 9 cups of vegetables a day. I know, Right? I don't even think I eat that much food in a day!

She says 5 cups of green leafy veg and 4 cups of colored veg. Our pediatrician says to eat a rainbow a day. I love that!

We already eat lots of salads at our house so this wasn't really a stretch. The other aspect of the "program" is that some foods might even be contributing to the MS symptoms and so she recommends an elimination diet. Just as you would do to determine allergies. I have often gone on the South Beach Diet to loose the weight after each baby, and the first few weeks of that "program" is to wean your body of sugar cravings. You drop grains, fruits and of course, sugar. I have always felt the healthiest while on that program, so the idea of wheat gluten being a trigger for me was not far fetched.

The first three things she recommends eliminating are gluten, eggs and dairy.

So far I have eliminated gluten completely and have done so since October of 2012. Over thanksgiving however I allowed myself a roll, the recipe I shared here, and a small helping of stuffing. We had thanksgiving with a friend and her stuffing was so amazing; made from scratch with french bread and sausage. I was in heaven. Oh, and I did have some gravy. I enjoyed the leftovers the next day aswell. But that night I woke to find the whole left side of my face had gone numb. In general, my fingers are always tingly and my lips do tingle when I eat certain things. So I believe there is another food aspect out there. It makes it easy to pass the bread, however, when my personal health is at stake. Not to mention I've lost over 10 pounds in the first two months!

So that's the update on my eating. As I learn more I will keep you posted. Also, I am excited to try some of my old standby dishes with alternative flours. I will share them once they turn out… so far, they aren't quite there yet.

I am not a food blogger, but I know my family wanted to know about my strange eating habits and so I thought I would share.

I'm Grateful

Today, a day late, I'm going to start sharing gratitude. You know, cause it's Thanksgiving Month. That's the name of the month right? Or is it Turkey Month. Anyway.

Today I'm grateful to ALL the candy my kids brought home 2 nights ago. The joy of sugar overload triggered my four year old's toothache and reminded me that he had an appointment to have a cavity fixed but the Dentist canceled because he was sick and I forgot to reschedule. Now he can only eat crackers and warm water….

I'm even more grateful that the dentist got us in to fill it this afternoon!

It's also nice having all this candy in the house just a week after I started my new MS Mitochondria and recovery diet. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, right?

A Lasting Impression on My Girls or My Waistline?

This is not a diet blog. But I do remember when I was a kid….

When I was a kid my parents would sometimes get on a diet kick. They were into health and fitness and would try new fad diets now and then. Like the fruit diet. Nothing but fruit before noon!

It is through my parents trying to start healthy habits that taught me to make healthy habits and I am hoping that these will be passed down to my own kids. So far it seems to be working. Somewhat. My kids will eat salads, brown and wild rice and it's really not very often that they get white bread. Although they do love it.

I have followed in my parents footsteps and have read a fad diet book or two. In fact, I tend to enjoy health books more than a good novel. And I love a good novel! But I wonder what impression this is making on my own girls. I have seen the ugly part of diet and food obsessions first hand through roommates and friends. I myself have never had a poor self image. Until now.

After each pregnancy I have worked really hard to get my body back in shape and to my post pregnancy size. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) long before we started having kids and I knew from the start that diet and exercise was critical to my bodies ability to fight for itself, against it's self.

Spring 2010

But after the third child, I went bonkers to get in shape for our 15th anniversary trip to the Caribbean. I wanted to be able to wear a bikini. Which I did. And I looked great (for having 3 kids).

Now, this was 2 years after I had given birth to Bear. I worked hard for 2 years to get where I was. But I can't stop hating myself now, a year and a half after having the fourth kid, for not being bikini ready. Even though I am not giving myself the same time frame as before. Nor am I working as hard… if at all! It's harder to give myself the time to workout with the number of kids around here.

This has made me worry, after all, I have never been so hard on myself. But I also worry for my girls. I remember my parent's fitness and diet efforts. They still work hard in their 70's to be in shape, fit and healthy. So how much of this self loathing are my two Tweens picking up? And what affect is it having on them? My parents weren't about the skinny. It's always about health. As it really is to me too. So why am I being so hard on myself?

Adventure Man and I have always been very careful. We love to workout but have only referred to a diet as "A Program" and it has always been for the sake of being healthy. Not to be skinny. Although that result is nice!

Now I have a new program. I have been looking into the concept that my food can affect the reaction my body has to the MS. This concept makes perfect since and I can feel the results almost immediately. But the changes this program suggests are more lifestyle changing than I have ever dealt with and that has brought on a whole new rang of emotions.

The Veggie Diet. No Gluten, no dairy, no eggs. Oh My!

This morning I was morning the loss of the egg. Something I have always had each morning. Is it really a trigger? Well, for now I am eliminating all so I can reintroduce and test. We shall see.

And right now. I'm not even hungry. So I'm going to quite complaining, and remember how blessed I am to be healthy. Even if I am still a few sizes away from my goal.

My kids don't care what I look like in my skinny jeans.

No, this is not a diet blog, or even a fitness blog. But this is something that is going on. And it's changing everything. SO I guess I can't really help it if I talk about it.

Time and Space and The Black Holes

"When we think of time, we tend to think of clock radios, coffee breaks, afternoon naps, leisure time, halftime activities, parole time, doing time, Minute Rice, instant tea, mid-life crises, that time of the month, cocktail hour. 

And if I should suddenly mention space -- aha! 

I bet most of you thought of your closets!"

~Trudy from 

The Search For Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe 

by Jane Wagner

A few months ago I woke on a Sunday morning and started getting ready for church. I got dressed, put on my face and got my kids out of bed. I set out their things helped the baby into a dress and my preschooler into his shirt and tie. We were fed and racing out the door by 15 after and I was so excited that we were actually going to make the 35 minute drive with time to spare! I might even make the early morning meeting if I hurried.

That was when I looked at the clock in the car and I was filled with complete confusion. It was 9:15, not 8:15? How could this be?

I had set my alarm clock the night before with complete confidence that if we got up at eight o'clock, we would have an hour to get ready and get out the door by eight fifteen! (No, this isn't a typo, stay with me!)

How had this happened? What time was it? I spent the whole drive trying to figure this out in my head and my brain couldn't piece together what had just happened.

Sure enough, the first hour of church meetings were almost over when we arrived on the scene! I still couldn't understand. Then, slowly, logic started to compute and time and space seemed to come together. Of course I couldn't wake up with just fifteen minutes until I needed to go and think I had an hour! Why did my brain not understand that! But still, my brain wouldn't let go of that knowledge that I had been right! My brain seemed to have been having an argument. I know, logically that that was not possible but my brain kept saying that the time frame was right.

This scared me. I knew I was wrong, but my brain couldn't accept it. It was as if I had two brains in my head. One was right, normal, healthy. The other was not supposed to even be there. It was sick, it was hard to control. It wasn't mine. It had holes in it.

I have a picture of that brain. An MRI. It does have holes in it. Little black spots that are the scars of the MS. Are they the reason for the miss function? I don't even know.

MS is hard because it could be MS, or I could have just sat on my leg wrong and it's just gone numb. Am I dizzy because I haven't had lunch yet and am I hypoglycemic? Or is it the MS and I'm starting to have a bat of vertigo? Sometimes it's easy to make a small thing into a big deal. But it's just as easy to overlook the danger signs and write them off as nothing.

I do that a lot. I would rather it not be a big deal than have everyone worried about me. So it's just a fluke.

Last week was Homecoming. My daughter, a 4th grader, got to participate in a cheer camp that the squad puts on during Homecoming week. Kids 3 and up can go and learn a routine to perform during halftime at the big game. It's so much fun! It raises money for the cheerleaders and lots of little girls get to learn what it would be like to join the squad thus promoting the team as well.

The kids participate at the pep rally, then ride the cheer float in the parade, and finally, that night, they cheer at the game. I went to the rally. After that I couldn't find a clock and was worried we would miss the parade. I walked to main street and waited. No one was there. I turned on my phone. The school called and told me my 4th grader was waiting to be picked up? OH MY GOSH! They were calling to let me know that they took her to the parade float and she was fine. I never realized that there was an hour between the end of school and the time for the parade. We, my three other kids and I, walked back to school, checked on the one daughter, and then walked back to main, just in time for the parade to start.

It had happened again! My brain had not been able to calculate time and space! Plus, I got the #1 Parent Fail Award! Then while standing on the street watching the parade, some lady came up to me to tell me I had forgotten my daughter at school!

Thanks for that! How do I know you?

Walk MS 2012

The MS walk is one of my favorite things. I love teaching my kiddos about making a difference and helping out. I love being able to show that I can be healthy and supporting those who are struggling with mobility. And I love knowing that we are raising money to try and find a cure. I've written about my challenges with MS, which are few, so I won't go into details. I just wanted to share some of the pictures from the day, and what a beautiful day it was! 

the whole fam~damn~ily came

we raised over $200 and got a pin! 

I crocheted these flowers for our hair

He wanted a lift

these guys were really funny.
They took the chips out of our hands. 

My guys! 

helping! 

And the funniest part was that I won a bottle of wine in the raffle! Yeah Me! Now who's going to help me drink this? No, I don't want any, but maybe I'll use it the next time I make a big pot of chili, and spaghetti or what ever else I can make with it???? I don't even know! 

Just what every Mormon Needs! LOL! 

If you would like to make a donation to help find a cure to fight MS visit your local National Multiple Sclerosis Chapter. Or you can donate to our team here. I thank you for all your help and support

Day 9 ~ Living With MS

Something You Do Everyday. This was the theme for the May Photo-a-Day challenge today. What do YOU do everyday? I could have chosen something easy. Something everyone does. Brushing my teeth. Making my bed. Folding laundry. But there is something else, something that no one sees. No one else feels. That is living everyday with MS. Multiple Sclerosis.

I first started having symptoms just before I was married. Almost 17 years ago. I felt like I was limping. Just on the right side of my body. I felt clumsy and slow. I fell down the stairs at work once. My foot slipped out from under me and slid down on my butt. Olga, My boss, and owner of Stapleton's, flipped out, but I just laughed. They were very old tiny steps and we filled so many orders in that tiny old floral shop in downtown Palo Alto, it could have happened to anyone.  I was rushing.

It wasn't until after the wedding and we had moved to Utah that it started to get worst. It seemed to move up my leg to my arm. I kept dropping my knife. I went slower to hid the limp, which didn't help me gain favor in the new floral shop I was working in. Then, just as fast as they had come, all the symptoms went away.

I didn't get diagnosed for another two years. I had started having vertigo. I felt like the world was spinning and I couldn't make it stop. That was when I got up the nerve to have the tests done. That was when I received my diagnoses. By then, it was more of a relief than a fear. I finally had an answer and I could go on. On to realize that my diagnoses didn't define me. It didn't change anything. I am strong and healthy. I am blessed.

I have gone on to have four beautiful kids. I have a very supportive husband who is also an amazing coach, gently encouraging me, even now, to get off the computer and go workout. I am active and that I believe is the key for me. It helps me de-stress.

Something I do Everyday 

Next weekend is the Walk MS in our area. We have a team, we're The Movers & Shakers. It's just me and my kids and we haven't made much money. But it's OUR Team, and we love it. We try and walk every year. We missed last year because I had just had a baby, and we had just moved to a new area, but we're back on the ball again.

I take meds. I give myself a shot everyday. That is what I do everyday. I don't LIVE with MS. I take a shot everyday. The MS just lives with me. That's not to say that I don't think about it. I thank the Lord everyday that I have my health. That I can feed my baby in the night. I can get up at six in the morning to get girls ready for school. I can see the words on the page to read to my son. I can fold that laundry, and pick up those toys, and make those beds. I DO live everyday. And I have MS.

A Lofty Goal

It's that time of year again, when all our good intentions for the New Year start to fall by the wayside! I think it starts with all the treats we make for the Valentine school parties. And then we have neighbors we dump the leftover cupcakes on. Our loves think they need to give us chocolates. Plus, we catch the inevitable cold the kids brought home from school. It's really a downward spiral, isn't it?

I, however, have beat this trend. I have opted not to even start my New Years Resolution until now. There is no way I can fail if I haven't even started, can I? So what is my resolution?

This --->









I want to hike to the top of this mountain ~ which is in my back yard! And I want to enjoy it! So I need to be in better shape than I am now. The plan is to get my elliptical machine moving. So far I haven't. And once the snow melts, start running  jogging, hiking and  enjoying the many trails around me. By posting this for the world to see, I am committed.

Now as a smaller goal, I also plan on walking in our area's Walk MS. I have done this for a few years now. And I do it to share the commitment and power of the fundraiser with my children. I show to them that I will always make a difference and work for my own health as well as others dealing with the challenges of MS. I have been living with this debilitating disease for over 16 years now and am so grateful for the health and strength I have. Plus it's a lot of fun!

If you would like to make a contribution in my behalf, I would be forever grateful!